Dear Mom,

I know raising me has not been easy and believe me I know my addiction has had you up many nights waiting for the day that you might get the call to come identify my body.

I feel awful now that I know what you had to go through every day, how you felt every time the phone rang.

I am so grateful that day never came for you but it is scary to realize just how close it was. If those paramedics hadn’t had Narcan on them, I wouldn’t be here today.

I’ve been struggling with this devil for 14 years and every time I fall you were there to pick me up which sometimes you did against your better judgment.

I knew I could always count on you and I took advantage of that. I knew that I always had a place to turn to no matter how bad it got.

I told you that I was done using so many times. The sick part is that I actually meant it.

I believed that I was done, but I couldn’t seem to get better. I couldn’t seem to control myself, but I really wanted to.

You prayed for me and still do and believe me, it has brought me to a place in my life that is so wonderful I can’t tell you in words.

Your prayers paid off. You never gave up on me. Even after going in and out of treatment, you believed in me.

You believed that I could change.

I feel like I am finally in a good place and I owe it to you.

I just wish I could have gotten here sooner. I wish I didn’t make you suffer as long as you did.

Mom today I promise to make you proud and do the best I can and be the best son I can.

My goal today instead of getting high is HELP someone who is struggling with this devil because that’s what this problem has taught me and it’s what you always wanted me to do.

I’ll forever be grateful for you and blessed to call you my mother.

I love you.


amethyst recovery

” Every time I fall,
you were there to pick me up”